Man in Rust Suicide

         

As I was looking through the pages of my math book, I woke up to something disturbing… I forgot my logarithms, exponents, and calculus. This is very alarming, because I was supposed to take an actuarial exam this May. Now, before I can move on with my review, I have to brushup my basics. And believe me, it isn’t easy.

This is where my past notes come in. They give me what no books and reviewers combined can; take me back to memory lane. The minute I look in its pages, everything I’ve learned seeps back into my mind. Forged there are the trade secrets and strong associations between my notebooks and my lessons. I can never take them lightly.

Ayun, ay kung nagno-notes ako! At kung mahahanap ko pa. Ama, ama, where art thou?

Ok, since I don’t have my notes that gives me my only option – find my calculus book. Unfortunately, I think mom already gave them away.

Now, I have only two weeks to be in tiptop shape. When classes begin, I don’t think I’d have any more time for this dreadful SOA exam. Come to think of it, what took over this f*cked-up mind that I’d waste money over this exam I can’t even review for.

O well, rock on! Wishing for more pencil-pushing time.
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It’s really depressing when you found out that you already forgot the skills which you thought you’re good at. Stripped bare, you can’t help but feel so down, in a slump. You have to rebuild your confidence in it and start anew, hoping to get the command over the said skill once again. But you remain helpless, at the mercy of your rusty mind. This separates a mediocre from a genius. Too bad, I’m not the latter.

Help: Prayer making

I was tasked to lead the company prayer every friday morning. For this year, we are to make a new prayer. I borrowed the prayer made by an inspired manager here and tried to put some of my ideas in it. I shamefully grabbed snippets from made prayers here and there too.

Almighty God, we your unworthy servants give you our most humble and heartfelt thanks for all your goodness and loving-kindness. We thank you for all the blessings of this life and also we praise you for your immeasurable love in the redemption of the world by our Lord Jesus Christ. Give us true repentance for our sins. Grant us unfailing respect for others, complete confidence in you Lord, and the grace of the Holy Spirit to live our lives according to your holy word.

Lord, bless the company – from the employees to its management. Endue us with your holy spirit as we perform our duties in wisdom and equity for the benefit our members. Guide us in giving up ourselves to your service, and by walking before you, in holiness and righteousness.

We also lift up to you the safe-keeping of our members and their families. Shield them from harm, keep them under your divine protection, and grant them peace and serenity. Reward their selflessness in performing their duties for the citizens and our country.

Lord, as one people we ask for unity and solidarity among our leaders in government and other institutions. Unite us into one flock, turning all circumstances and events in our lives into opportunities to love you and serve your kingdom.

All these we ask in the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit. Amen.

Care to make some comments? With your help, we can polish this beautifully and maybe make it more appropriate for the company. Your say on the matter will be very much appreciated. Thank you!

All things are pretty

popeye’s mom

An officemate once asked me to make her a collage full of her favorite actor’s pictures. She said she’s willing to enlarge it, and make it a wall-sized tarpaulin, and then hang it on her room. I asked her why would she do that when it is rumored, and confirmed by my gay barber, that her favored actor is an actress. Then she said, “Paki mo!” It seems that she likes the actress for what she really is. Call that unconditional love if you like. Oh well, I’ll just put lipstick on the pictures on her collage.

Some things and people are really pretty to look at. For me, maybe never a picture of a man, but there are always a lot of pretty things for your eyes to feast on. Some got to do with colors; a well-structured color mix can stimulate positive emotions. Some, with perfect symmetry of things, a wonder brought about by conceptualized forms. Others are fond with interesting things that catch their full attention and tickle their playful imagination. In any case, you’ll be happy even with a simple glance.

I believe that beauty can be seen when and where you really would want to see them. Everything and everybody is beautiful and pleasing to the eye- it’s just a manner of looking at them that determines which side of beauty you can actually focus on. I guess, with this line of thinking, everybody is attractive in their own special way and by their own exclusive right.

Looking for beauty is a healthy exercise. Sometimes it’s just hard to see because of our negative feelings for the subject which we unconsciously nurture inside us. But once we get passed that, you’ll be surprised that even the witch or the bitch we’re so pissed at is beautiful.

You don’t have to be in Tagaytay or Calaruega to feel real beauty… you just have to look at the one beside you. But then again, if the beauty is not innate, you just have to will it – parang 3d picture.

I guess that’s the same reason why our moms don’t seem to age and remain beautiful in our eyes – because we find their beauty, Exquisite.

Men and Mystery

I have this question that bugged me since I was in high school. What is it in breasts that they seem to catch men’s attention. I’ve heard from Sienfeld that men are obsessed with cleavage as women to shoes. He said that everytime it was presented to us (maybe “them” men for that matter) we have to look. Anyway, to some it became like a reflex action. They don’t need to look and they don’t want to look, so the minute their eyes would take them there, they’d control their urges and look the other way. Unfortunately, most of the time, reason came in too late.